No one really knew
Just how small I felt
How alone I felt in a room filled with people
How sad the start of a new day for me
How much I didn't want the world
There was trees once
Tall, proud oaks who grew to protect
And flowers too
Petite and shy who gave colors to the world
There were stars aligned perfectly
To carve the night sky
And seas to bask in the moonlight
Then one day it was gone
Vanished from their roots and ground
And left the world dull and useless
The earth turned upside down
And I was swimming in a pool of stars
Dead and still
The starts of a day was terrifying
How heavy my footsteps were
How heavy my heart was
How heavy everything was on my shoulders
I was terrified to sit in a room filled with people who hated me
To walk the same way as them
To breath the same air as them
To live
Like toys, trust once broken never works the same way
You can tape it together
But it'll fall apart soon
You can glue it together
But nothing sticks forever
Once abandoned,
forgotten
I hid in bathroom stalls
I sang songs to hide my heart ache
And I slept through the day
Because the night didn't have hate
It had peace and darkness
Two things I never had
I didn't like the world
But I realize now
The world never did anything to me
It gave me a roof over my head
And water to drink
It cared for me
But I didn't like it.
Now you see, yes?
In moments of desperation for a soul to cling on to,
You do everything to survive from the black hole sucking you in
You fight
Now you understand, yes?
How alone and abandoned I felt of my own doings
How little I felt in the eye of the world
How close I was to being nothing
I want to lend you a hand
And pull you
But I realize the anchors of revenge
Are clasped too tightly around my ankles
And soon you're slipping beneath the black canvas
And I can't do anything
But watch you scream a soundless cry for help
That no one will ever hear
You'll know how I felt.
Now it's my turn to ask the question.
How's it like being alone?
Saturday, May 11, 2013 @ 7:39 AM /
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