YoOOOooooOOoooo~I've just come back from three fantastic days in Melaka and would like to remember this feeling of content and nostalgic in this blog post.
FRIDAY
Originally, I was just supposed to go to graduation then go home. But then my family had a gathering & decided to stay until Sunday so i said fuck it, I'm gonna go to this lame ass bbq my friends were having. Plus Puteri couldn't come to graduation so the bbq was the only place I'd meet her. We planned for Arifah to drive Syalin & I after graduation to pick up Puteri then go to the bbq but heh, plans change.
So, graduation was okay. I missed the perarakan bc I was late lol & it was so embarassing to masuk dewan lambat sjkfhskdfjhsa tapi nasib baik ah I got to sit next to Farah Wani so the ceremony wasn't that boring lmao. It was uneventful, to say the least. We just took a batch photo and then everyone went their separate ways. I got to meet Tish agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain and take pictures with everyone. But in all seriousness I was sort of scared to come bc Cheng and Od would be there and I sort of felt like an outsider for a while but meh, I got through it ok.
Me and Syalin waited three fucking hours for Arifah to come. We were so pissed so I asked Syahmi to come pick us up instead. Like tbh, I'm so thankful that my friends were so nice to me these past three days with all the driving around and belanja-ing hewhew. We went to McD first bc I was freaking starving cos I hadn't eaten at all from aLL THE WAITING and Syahmi had to wait for Adam and his geng. Adam's still an asshole btw, nothing's changed hurrah. I called him to tell him we were there and the first thing he said 'apa sial kenapa aku save nombor bean sia'. gr8. Budak laki semua sesat lol bc we ended up meeting like two more cars on the way to her house.
The bbq was supposed to start at 3 and we got there at 4.30 tapi takde benda nak makan pun smh. Panjang cite ah nak kutuk tuan rumah tapi conclusionnya, tuan rumah and organiser tak prepare lansung hahaahhah. I was the geng duduk dapur, kutuk2 tuan rumah and just having the best time whilst people were cooking and hanging around lmao. It actually felt like a party bc the boys were playing video games and hanging out outside, masak ayam and the girls were in the living room and gossiping so that was nice. I got to see Puteri and Lamin and I tried to look for every excuse to get out and drive lol. Syahmi let me drive home from the kedai and he got pissed bc I hit a branch zzzzz. I didn't even eat anything loool.
I was supposed to go to Panca (this event where form 5s sell food for a whole weekend to donate to the school) with Arifah but then Puteri cancelled and lps kena tunggu 3 jam dkt mozac, I ikut Syahmi bc he was gonna go to Panca too. I didn't wanna go after Puteri cancelled but Lamin asked me to follow him and I didn't have anyone to drive me home anyways so aku ikut lah.
We sang the whole way back to Mozac. We sent Fatin Qila to JJ lama, then Syahmi, Lamin, Syahirah Khalid and me went to Mozac. We hung around at school until Panca started, cakap pasal budak laki kena settle lah, gelakkan junior lah etc.
Thank God Kak We was there bc I would've been the only girl at the table lmao. It was just us two bc Syahirah Khalid didn't feel like hanging out there. We just sat around talking and eating stale burgers and drinking. Best lah bc ada kawan, there was Lamin, Kak We and Jiji at the table so it wasn't awkward. Syahmi left when the other guys started arriving. Eventhough it wasn't exciting or anything, I didn't wanna leave bc I was finally getting to hang out with my friends and eventhough they weren't Cheng and Od, it still felt nice to just not be alone.
Before I left, geng Syah asked me if I wanted to ikut pergi A'Famosa esok and i was like ???????? but I really wanted to go lmao. It was rly last minute but Dad let me go heh. I left around 10 and went to watch Munafik again at midnight with my cousins lmao I was so damn tired when I got back and sort of wanted to cancel going to A'Famosa bc I wasn't sure I'd wake up lol. But I still packed, and by pack I mean secretly steal my sister's and cousin's clothes then went to bed.
SATURDAY
They planned on going at 9 am and I woke up at 8.40 am lmao. I got ready in like 10 minutes and they got a bit lost but they came around 9.10++am. I was so tired but damn was I excited bc I'd never done anything this last minute, I didn't even know where the hell I was going to sleep but ofc I didn't tell mom that lol.
We went to McD for a drive through breakfast then we were on our way. When I say I wasn't prepared, I freaking meant it. I didn't know how I was going to go anywhere if this plan backfired, where A'Famosa actually was like I thought it was near but damn it was on the border of Melaka-KL, where I was gonna sleep bc I thought they were staying in a hotel and letting me stay there but turns out they already checked out and legit I found when we were going home for the day etc. But clueless me spent the rest of the ride cluelessly in peace.
Y'all gotta understand that back in Mozac, we weren't close aT ALL, they were this group of close knit friends and I was literally the only outsider lmao. But they were so excited when I said I'd go so I thought it'd be fine and thank god it was omgggggg. Plus I was close with Farah Wani, Ati and Owen so I figured it'd be ok. We had so much fun bruhHhH, I mean, at least I did lol.
It was scorching hot that day and all of us got blisters from walking on the hot cement but dAMN IT WAS WORTH IT.
Like
LOOK
AT
IT
Once again, I didn't know what to expect but I didn't think it'd be that fun. The first ride we rode was this one;
And I lost my shit bc it was aWESOMMEEEEEEEEEEE, I ALMOST FELL OFF THE PELAMPUNG OK IT WAS SO FUN.
All the rides were cooooooooOoOollLllL, we were screaming through all the rides hahahahahahah. And nasib there was 8 of us bc most of the rides needed even numbers of people so I think that's why they sort of invited me hahaahhaha but whateves i had freaking blast.
We swam around in the river and waited for the waves and Owen lost her glasses so we tawaf'ed the sungai two times baru jumpa looool. Time dah penat semua we just hung out under the bridge bc dear god it was hot lol. That was the part I liked the most. Call me lame or wtv but the best parts of being with friends is just talking and laughing and joking around heh.
We ate our (free!) lunch and decided to ride the rides one more time before going back. Melecet gila kaki by the time kitaorg gi tukar baju.
After changing, we took photos then headed back to Ayer Keroh. It rained and I slept the whole way lmao. We met up at JJ Baru to eat bc danngggggnggggngngngng we were hungry & tired. We ate pizza and laughed and joked around and it struck me that I didn't really need just one set of friends in life bc I was out without my best friends and still had fun. Time tu lah aku menyesal berpuak sangat time dkt Mozac hahahaha bc I had just as much fun as I did with Cheng and Od. Siap buat kawan with this one little boy that kept coming to our table fkhdaklfjlf me & children otp.
I didn't feel like going home (I decided to sleep at Ainin's eventho dia tak ajak pun haha tembok muka nak mati) so I got Hadri to take me to dinner hahahaha. Ati couldn't come so I ajak Kak We. After we finished eating at Pizza Hut, everyone went their separate ways and we waited for Hadri.
Like I'll be freaking honest it was so awkward at first lmaooooooooooooo. So Hadri ajak Acap lol. It was so awkward but then kitaorg start membebel & ranting dah ok ahhaah. Kitaorg ambik Acap then went to eat steamboat. Lol dinner was also awkward bc I've never eaten with guys before kfsajflajfkj I talked to Kak We most of the time but then masuk cite kes pecah masuk aspura and ok la sekejap.
We were so late by the time we left lol, we promised Ainin we'd be home by 10 but we left the place at 10 hehe.
Ok, so on the way there, Kak We and I started talking about how imposing we were being to Ainin bc dia tak ajak kitaorg pun haahaha and she started saying that she wanted to stay hotel je malam ni but the rest didn't want to and I said I thought we were staying at a hotel at first and she was like laaa why didn't u say time dkt jj baru sempat je nak book hotel & stuff and I was like omg let's just book nOW??? & both of us started googling cheap places to say and fjhsdkfjalkj we got so excited lol. I found a place with two single beds for like rm50 and we were like hELL YEAH??????? HAAHHAHA we asked Hadri if he could send us and he said he could so we were on fULL MODE EXCITED. We booked the hotel online, called Farah Wani to say we were coming to get our stuff and I was like omg we're actually doing this???????? again, u can see how unplanned my three days was hahahha.
We got lost on the way to her house bc both of us had no clue where it was but one of their friends lived nearby so they went to his house to ask where it was. He wasn't home so they went and asked his mom looool. So she so kindly, drove us to where her house was hahahah. Again, everyone was so nice to me this whole weekend fhkdskjas. We salam her mom and said goodbye, took our stuff and left loooooool we felt bad but I was so tired and really just needed somewhere I felt comfortable to crash lmao.
We sent Acap then Hadri drove us to the hotel, nasib dia tau where it was. Hadri was really nice tbh. Dia melayan kitaorg yg huru hara tetiba nak gi hotel plak tapi kena pergi jugak rumah ainin to get our stuff plus our hotel was rly far from where he lived & it was already like 11???
On the way there all three of us started fighting about our results hahahaha. Kitaorg tiga2 sama result, tapi B+ lain2 subject. It felt....nice I guess to finally talk about it with people who understand the pain of being a near miss hhahaha. But then kitaorg gi buli Hadri about his results, ckp dia asyik annoy budak batch that's why BI dia tak dpt restu etc. sampai dia nak nangis haahahahah. I felt bad bc bila kitaorg sampai and nak cakap bye semua he didn't look up at all and I think he was crying bc his eyes was all watery when we told him to roll down the window hahahaha. Jahat gila, dia dah la penat2 drive kitaorg and last2 we made him cry ahahahah. We checked in (apparently the room was rm60 with taxes and stuff smh) and...well, let's just say when you pay rm60 for a room, you're gonna get a rm60 room lmaaaaaaaaao.
It was so small, and there was no lift and me and Kak We was like are they shitting us??????? lol wE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A BATHROOM FGS!!!! The hotel was like a dorm and the bathroom was like on the other side of our freaking room hahahaah. But we were so shit tired and after complaining and being ok with it, we charged our phones and finally went to sleep!!!!!!
SUNDAY
We were supposed to get up at 9 bc they had a free breakfast for us but by the time I woke up, it was 11.45am lmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaao. I was like looking around for my phone and was like kak we???????????? we missed breakfast???? ahhahaha.
Staying in a hotel, no matter how cheap, waking up is never easy lol. It was so comfy and I didn't wanna leave at all but we had to. Hadri offered to send us to Melaka Sentral at 12.30 but we suruh ambik pukul 1 je la lool. I went to shower and when I came back, the door kept beeping aND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED WE WERE SUPPOSED TO CHECK OUT AT 12AM HAHAHAAHHAAH.
We freaked out and Kak We went to shower and I started packing hahahaha. We finally checked out at 12.30 and thank god it was a cheap hotel bc it didn't charge us for checking out late. Hadri came at 1 and I was looking forward to having lunch with him but he had to pick up his brother so he just sent us off at Melaka Sentral.
But forreal tho, shoutout to Hadri who will never read this bc he was so nice to us for offering to send us eventhough his house was half an hour away and it only took him 10 minutes to send us off and for belanja-ing us dinner the night before (rm100 weh tq ah) and dealing with us drama queens yg nak sgt duduk hotel and tak suruh kitaorg bayar duit minyak pun fdhakjfkas. Trimasssssss eventhough you're such an asshole lmao.
Our bus was at 3 so we ate McD while we waited. Nadzmi came to see Kak We off and I awkwardly became the third wheeler lmao seriously tho, I kept being everyone's third wheeler the whole weekend ahahhahaha.
We slept the whole way to KL and again, I didn't know how to go home hahahaha. But thank god dad was already at TBS weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ So I went home with dad, had dinner and am now coming down from my adventure high.
Sighshshshs.
I'll be honest, I didn't wanna go home. I was getting so sick of waking up and doing the same thing every single day so that's why I had wayy too much fun this whole weekend. It felt so nice to be out with friends and having last minute plans and sleeping in cheap hotels and just feeling like a teenager on an adventure heh.
And I didn't expect to be close with all these people I hung out with. Like my friends kept whatsapp-ing me saying 'aku tak sangka kau ngam dgn dieorg??' 'pelik sia kau lepak dgn etc.' the whole two days ahahahhaha. Aku pun tak expect I'd be having fun hanging out with them. Expecially Kak We!!! I just realized I spent the whole Saturday with her, from A'famosa to sleeping together to going back together. I liked knowing that I could enjoy myself without having a '''clique'''. Everyone was so nice to me this whole weekend and I'm so grateful <333
I loved these three days, & to many more great days like these! <3
Monday, April 4, 2016 @ 10:11 AM /
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Assalamualaikum y'all~So from the lack of incoherent posts right after 3/3, you can tell my results were alhamdulillah good! It wasn't what I expected but then again, I didn't really know what I was expecting hehe so I was grateful either ways.
BM - A+
BI - A+
HIS - A+
MATHS - A+
AGAMA - A +
ADDMATHS - A
BIO - A
PHY - A
CHEM -B+
Truly, alhamdulillah!
But I have to be honest lah, I was pretty heartbroken when my name wasn't called on stage. You could just see my face falling when they passed my name heh. After I realized I wasn't one of the 42 to get straight As I immediately texted the number to know my results and I was so nervous when the text came. I only saw the back of it and the worse I saw was a B+ so I was sort of relieved. I showed my parents (and wouldn't let them tell me haha) and my mom looked so suprised. She told me my result was good and I terus lari pergi ambik result hahaah first siut. I can't say it wasn't annoying seeing the B+ on my slip but I was so proud when I saw the straight 5 A+ across my slip :')
Tapi manusia kan, mana reti nak bersyukur. When my parents asked me how I felt about my results, I couldn't really pinpoint what I was truly feeling, Dissapointment of course lah. I did feel like crying but my parents were so proud of my result and that's supposed to be the only thing you expect your parents to be so I couldn't really say I was feeling dissapointed with myself. I think I was really shell shocked after getting my results bc everything felt like a blur. Rasa macam tak betul je haha. I couldn't accept it at first, I kept looking at my slip wishing for another A to appear.
And I'll be honest, it took me a while to finally be at peace with result. Susah lah nak explain but I just felt like after complaining about the classes and having to attend so many extra classes, cakap macam confirm je straight As and last2 tak dapat pun. All I did was complain and was never grateful for the work my teachers put in to teach me. Tu lah berkat cikgu. I was only dissapointed with myself lah. I just had this thought that I wanted to leave Mozac with a bang, with straight As in my hands but Allah has other plans I suppose. Now I'm grateful but there still lies the pang of dissapointment.
Sekarang tengah stress fikir college and scholarships. They lied. They said getting straight As would definitely make your college life easier. Lies. They should've told us it's the A+s and As that mattered. In my time, getting straight As is nothing without A+s and As. I have friends who got straight As but still cannot apply to certain scholarships bc they don't have enough A+s and As. Even my friends yang tak straight As pun still qualify for prestigious scholarships bc they had more A+s and As than most of the students that got straight As. Itu je scholarships are looking at, the quality of your As, not the amount of As.
So, for now, I'm contemplating doing A-Levels. Bruh, there's so much drama that goes down in this -_-. It's expensive af. The cheapest I found was at TARC and tu pun 14k. Entahlah...
I want to do A-Levels, I don't want to go to UITM. Mom wants me to do A-Levels but she also cannot figure out how she's going to afford it. Dad still expects me to go to UITM like my sister.
My parents are pushing me in all sorts of direction. Mom keeps asking if I want to take up another course but when I did for my UPU, takut plak aku tak dapat law. I rasa, kalau memang rezeki aku dapat science, I will take it lah. It wouldn't be her choice to choose for me. Abah pulak insists gila2 lah I study local only for my degree and only go overseas during my Masters. Why doesn't he ask me that I don't want to pursue my Masters straight away after my degree, that I really want to go overseas for my degree, that I want to take up A-Levels? Why can't he see that times are hard, and just getting a degree won't guarantee my chances at a job?
I have results to do really good programmes and I feel like I worked too hard to end up at UITM. Bukannya I look down on those at local colleges but I just want to do more. I want to try something new and challenging.
Of course education is still education where ever you go, but I really want to try out A-Levels. Nak aku jujur, I'm a little dissapointed lah my parents didn't set up an education fund for us since we were little, it would've made life rn easier to go to a lot more places but takpelah, it wasn't meant to be.
I am sad though that I am unable to take up A-Levels bc I just get so guilty when I hear mom talking about taking out loans and stuff. Aku rasa macam leceh je last2, baik pergi UITM je where money won't be a problem. Plus I hate, hate the fact that dad will be looking down at my choice in the end (bc it's not his choice see). Even now pun when we talk about my future, he keeps quiet when I talk about wanting to do A-Levels & it just makes me want to drop all of it and pergi je lah UITM tu. Ikut je lah eventhough I won't be happy doing it. He doesn't even show much interest to know about A-Levels.
I wish I could choose for myself and my parents just accpeted it but it's all in Allah's hands.
Dear future me, I hope you're happy with what you chose. If you aren't, I'll try harder next time.
Wednesday, March 9, 2016 @ 9:46 AM /
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Hey, guys. It's T-minus 8 days until results and I'm just internally freaking out heh.Mom keeps saying that she doesn't really have any expectations for my results and I'm glad but it doesn't make me feel better about it. I don't know, I've just always had this big expectation for myself, to get straight As, to go to a good school etc. I feel like I'm always pushing myself to be the best and at the end of the day it's always me that ends up stressed out. Bodoh je aku ni hahaha.
I was so chill about it this whole three months but now that it's a week away, I'm getting so nervous dfhsfklsaj What if I don't get that 9As? I mean, I know it's not the end of the world, believe me. My sister only got 5 and yet she's getting 3.75 GPAs and really liking law. But, this is me. Old, dramatic me. I don't think I can live with the fact that I was one or two As away from getting that straight As without thinking that I could've done better.
I keep seeing all these tweets about whatever result we get, kita redha je and that if we had given it our all, truly, Allah has other plans for us. But that's the thing!!! I know I didn't do my best for my SPM. My SPM was shit next to my PMR. I gave PMR everything I had but I was so unprepared for SPM. So what happens then????
Maybe this is just pre-result day and that when I get it, I will find clarity in the fact that it will be one failures out of many. Maybe I will make do with my result, I pray that I do. Because I know, somewhere along the way I'll find a way to beat myself up about it. God, please, let me get that 9As...
Other talks concerning my future, I don't want to go to UITM. I know it's so selfish of me but I want to do something different. I'd get sick of living the same thing my sister did. My whole life's always a copy of Fatin's. Maybe that's one of the reason I went to boarding school. My sister' high school life was shit and I knew I'd never feel the same way about high school if I stayed, no offence to all my friends.
My parents aren't worried about my college education because they think of course I'm gonna pick UITM but yoooo, I don't. I don't know, I want to learn Law but I wanna go somewhere else, take on new adventures that I haven't heard of from my sister, gain my own experiences. I want to apply to UM. But my guidance counselor said better not apply to UM if our results aren't good so I'm going to see how my results are. If they're average then sadly, I will have to go to UITM.
A Levels is another option I've always considered. But it sort of breaks my heart when my parents say they can't afford it so I never push for A levels. I've heard how expensive it is from my rich ass friends so I know my family definitely cannot afford it heh.
I really want to go overseas too. Dad keeps saying it's not worth it to spend that much money on a degree but I really want to. I don't really say anything because I can't guess how my results are gonna go but if it is good, dear god, I wanna go overseas.
It's just one of those things I wanna push in my life, learning overseas....
Sighs talking about my unpredictable future is making me sad.
Bye.
Wednesday, February 24, 2016 @ 8:01 AM /
0 thoughts
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