It's been half the year and I haven't found time to write until now!!! Gah!!!! SPM!!!! TIME????

So yes, I've been immensely busy this half year and it sort of scares me how fast it's going by. I say that every year but this time it really is scary. Trials are like in 2 months and after that...

To be honest, yes, eventhough it's already half the year already, I still don't feel all that nervous for SPM. ha ha. And that's not to mean I'm confident for it, nope. I just....don't feel it this year. I remember lagi during PMR I was so stressed and so....determined for it but this year I don't feel it. I don't feel the excitement or the nervousness or have the late nights thinking of life after SPM. Maybe it's because during PMR I had a goal: boarding school. But I don't know what I'm aiming for in SPM. I keep telling everyone who asks me I'm probably gonna do law. But deep down, do I? I don't even know the basics of it and no, watching Law and Order is not a good teacher I can vouch from. I'm not even a good debater,

After the HKSBP Debate, I really just felt normal you know? Nothing special about the way I debate or give out points. I can do it, but I'm not good at it. Cha get? I have to find something I can shine from and looking at all the SAS & SSP debaters, I doubt debating is something I can excel in. There's already a lot of great lawyers out there so what makes me good enough to outdo them? 

Sigshshshhs. Debating has made me thought of all that hehe.

Despite the crisis of my future, life's been good to me alhamdulillah. 

My midterms was okay. My results so far are also satisfying thank God. I always like exam week because it's always fun to study sampai mata bengkak hehe. The whole two weeks study bundle because all of us didn't start studying early lol. 11.30 until 12.30 and then I'd go back to my dorm. And I actually woke up early the whole two weeks and went to study at the dewan before exams started. We didn't have breakfast together the whole two weeks because leceh nak tunggu each other. My favourite memory was during the weekends. We'd just lie around, go out to find food and study sampai tersengguk-sengguk. On Sunday, time tu outing perempuan but all of us didn't go out because broke af and it was addmaths next week. We sat around Od's table and we drank and ate and baring2 around the meja until beruks started harassing us. It'd been a while since we hung out like that, just lying around doing nothing. But together lol ok it sounds sad never mind. I just miss us spending time together because we'd been so busy with our own stuff. So yeah, exam week is always the best. 

Right after exams terus the HKSBP Debate competition so I was really busy time nak2 midterms break. God it was so freakin' fun. We literally set up a pantry in our prep room lol. Our teacher brought a bunch of extensions for the kettle, for us to charge and for the stove. Literal pantry guys. All we did was eat in the prep room ahhahahaha. Discuss sekejap je then makan!!!!! God it was so fun. 

The english team didn't make it past the pre-lims but the malay team did but lost at the quarters. After we lost, we just hung out and marayau tengok other teams compete. And yes, I only watched the SAS team debate because they're reaaaally good. Esp the second speaker or that's just me yang ter-tariq with the boy hmmmmmmmmmmmmzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. So after SAS lost (IFKR) I didn't bother listening to the others lol. I remember lagi, the morning session was over so everyone was free until 2 o'clock but we didn't wanna move. So, Puteri, Lamin, Syahmi and me started singing to random songs and it was freaking hilarious. Fasihah just sat there watching a drama on my ipod. Lol I still remember playing Uptown Funk and all of us ended up dancing groovy HAHAHAHAHHA even Fasihah stopped watching her drama cos she was laughing. 

And then during free time, we'd go down where they set up like a mini pasar malam for the whole 6 days and we'd eat chocolate and gear box lah. Food was never a problem for us lah hehe. Syahmi got so chubby by the time we got back. Post-debate time was the best.

But during the debates was also fun!!!!! God the funniest thing ever was during my first EVER debate. I got a POI (when the opponent offers a question or opinion) aND I JUST FREAKING STOOD THERE SWALLOWING AIR BECAUSE I COULDN'T FREAKING THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY BACK AND I JUST STUTTERED CRAP AND MOVED ON SKFJAKJFJSFGJ IT WAS SO EMBARASSING I JUST STOOD THERE WITH MY MOUTH OPEN LIKE AN IDIOT AHHAHAHAHAH PUTERI WAS LIKE TEACHER BIHAH SWALLOWED AIR!!!! & That became the joke of the day dsjkfhdjkfhasjh + we lost that round ha ha. 

We won the second round and their third speaker was. SO. FRIGGIN'. CUTE. I was squealing when he rebutted my points and I just stared back hoping it pierced it heart <3 lol yeah but he ended up liking Fasihah sTORY OF MY LIFE BRADER!!!!!

We lost against ASiS as predicted + the topic was ridiculous. 

THBT WE MUST PRESERVE THE INTERNET AS A TOOL OF DEMOCRACY 

Like quuuuuurllll, ain't no preserving the damn internet. We were opposition and we freaked out like craycray guurl. 20 minutes in and we were still like dUDE WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN?!? Syahmi was like ok let's listen to what they say, rebut panjang2 and make up our points along the way, LET'S JUST LIE DOWN AND ROLL IN SHIT.

We did and lost. Great plan guys.

God, we were so playful throughout ALL our debates. Our opponents would be so serious and discuss details before it started but then you'd look over to our side and see us giggling like 5 year olds because one of our opponents tonggek. Me and Puteri would look like we were passing notes about points but in reality we were fangirling over the cute third speaker. Syahmi would be sweating like craycray and we'd laugh at him. Me and Puteri laughed whenever Syahmi made a pun in the middle of the debate and sANGAT TAK SERIOUS OMG HAHAHA. Sampai the other teams thought that was our way to psycho our opponents. But no, we're naturally idiots who enjoy debating :) It was so fun. That was what made it so fun. The fact that we were debating because it was fun not to win. I'd still be in stitches even if we lost because adaaaaa je something funny. I remember lagi time the end of our debate with ASiS and everyone clapped but me and Syahmi tepuk lagi. When I stopped, Syahmi clapped once and I'd follow and mADAM SINAR SURIA WAS LIKE OH MY GODDD YOU PEOOPLLLLEEEEE WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGG HAHAHAHAHA. Then when we waited for the verdict, all of us were talking about how Madam Sinar Suria dah macam mak Fasihah and then Syahmi wrote 'THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU' on a paper and put it up for her to see aND SHE WAS LIKE WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING???? THE JUDGES CAN SEE YOU!!!! AND WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT ME?? AHAHHAHA It was so friggin' hilarious. 

And yes, entah macam mana, I actually bonded with Fasihah. This girl that I've envied this whole year, I had somehow gotten close with. I ingat lagi, we were all sprawled on the floor, hanging out. And then I got bored and started drawing moles on Fasihah's face and iT WAS SO FUNNY DSJFHDKJF She hugged Puteri and she lit balls just dissapeared HAHHAHAHA She diffused into Puteri and I laughed sf hard. Gelak tak ingat dunia time tu. And thus began our squad assemble. 

Gahhhhh, so many other great and funny things happened but it's too much to write down haha. 

My midterms ended with such a bang! I'm still not over HKSBP but god was I glad I got to go through with it :D