I'm doing great at forgetting all the bad memories, believe me I haven't even thought of them since last week. But, it gets to me sometimes you know? How much I lost in one person. All the good memories down the drain, tainted with hate. I don't hate her. I'm just dissapointed at how this turned out. How much things fell apart in a matter of days. Losing her made me hate.That's the thing about me. I forget people easily, even if they meant the skies to me just the day before. I'm good at pretending people don't exist. But one day my ignorance bites back and I'm left speechless when I see how much I've lost.
It was only a year. One year but it felt like I lost more than a year of memories. It bit me hard when one day I realised we weren't gonna be okay anymore.
Entahlah. I don't miss her now but I'll miss her later when this anger disappears.
It was weird, waking up one day and realized she slept somewhere else, she walked with someone else and she did different things now. It was weird to think that the week before we were just sitting around and joking around and tearing each other's hairs out. We'd been used to annoying each other with our problems but when you decided hanging with other people was better for your future, I dropped it, man.
When I'm in, I'm in. I take your shit and deal with it. I back you up when you need it. I listen to your shit even when I think you're spewing crap. I'm loyal where I need to be. And when you thought we couldn't deal with your crap anymore, I guess you never knew where my loyalty lied. All those mornings waking each other up, going to school together, having nasi lemaks every lunch time, it's not down the drain, it's just a sad memory now. Even listening to the songs you used to like makes us cringe at how things went down. You never apologised for breaking us apart, just more excuses.
Maybe I took it a step further with the messages but you needed to know how angry I was and your dumb excuses just pissed me off. Cheng and me bashed you like hell but it showed just how much you pissed us off. How much damage you did to us. I can't believe when we take our results next year, it'll be only the three of us when we used to dream so much of post-spm stuff. Heh, now those dreams are down drain.
When the time comes, maybe we'll all forgive each other. Maybe.
Saturday, December 12, 2015 @ 8:45 AM /
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